Love is.......

.........a stuffed heart (from The Ginger Pig) braised long and slow, whilst Barry White croons majestically in the background. Cooked in red wine, shallots, herbs, garlic, for hours and hours. Until the muscle is tender and ripe, yielding softly upon teeth, thick sauce coating lips, moaning, dribbling gently, pupils dilating as the flesh sinks downwards and downwards and downwards.........

Mrs FU won't know what hit her tonight.

And by the way, 50 Shades of Shite ain't got nothing on me.

STOP PRESS

The folks at Leon asked on Twitter a few days ago for people to divulge their best/funniest/saddest Valentines Day stories over 140 characters and I gave them my tale of an incident which happened over 10 years ago now, when Mrs FU and I first moved in together. They liked it so much, it was picked to be animated. This is very cool.

And plus, gawd bless 'em, they've even given me hair. Which I did have back then.