Hi, my name is Danny and I am relatively famous food blogger, known for digging pits, and drinking marrow rum. You might even recognise me from a well-known dishwasher ad.
But that’s not important right now.
Because right now, I want to address the issue of #abusivechocolate.
Now, imagine you’ve walked into a supermarket, department store or high end chocolaterie.
You spot on the shelf a rather seductive box of chocolates, mysterious, and with just a hint of danger.
You buy it and take it home.
You then unwrap the box and take out one of those decadent chocolates and before you place it into your mouth - a fleeting, nervous flutter, pops into your stomach.
Something isn’t quite right.
But you ignore that feeling and decide to take a bite anyway.
Before you know it, you are suddenly repulsed. A shock courses through your system and you want it to stop.
Of course, by then, it is too late. You have to swallow and take it right down. You can’t spit the chocolate back out, you’ve spent too much money.
(Especially if you bought it from a high end chocolaterie.)
Suddenly, you realise you’ve been tricked. You read the box again. More carefully this time.
The fondant centre contains durian, and something goes off in your head.
Durian, durian, durian…
You’ve heard about this durian before. Yes, it is revolting, smelly and disgusting.
It is literally an assault on your senses, but there seems to be no way out.
You just can’t get the taste out of your mouth. It won’t stop.
You are trapped. Trapped forever in this vicious cycle of eating durian chocolates.
Because really, they were bloody expensive, and you can’t tell anybody how much you paid.
They wouldn’t believe you. Or worse, they would tell you that it’s your own fault, and to simply get on with it.
Well, this is exactly how domestic abuse occurs.
One minute, you can be on the precipice of a deliciously sweet and new adventure. And then in the next, your face could be smashed into a bloody pulp.
A stinking, vicious, evil pulp. Not unlike durian pulp.
So, the next time you think about getting into a relationship, just think upon #abusivechocolate and what could happen.
Especially if it contains durian. Because that stuff is God Fucking Awful.
Unless of course you are Asian and you grew up loving the stuff in the same way that other people love pickled onions, egg mayonnaise, or even a nice ripe Stilton.
Think chocolate? Think #abusivechocolate
NB: This is just my little take on a campaign that has tried to connect the power or 'nuances' of chocolate, to domestic violence. Despite good intentions, there's lots wrong with it, all highlighted here.